Krishna Vora Therapy

Photo Credit: Andrea Piacquadio

Understanding the Roots of Shame

If you grew up with a learning difference, you might remember being told to “try harder,” “focus more,” or “stop being lazy.” These messages, often repeated by teachers, parents, or peers, can stick with you for years.

Even as an adult, you might find yourself doubting your intelligence or feeling “behind” — not because you aren’t capable, but because of internalized shame that began long ago.

Learning differences — such as dyslexia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia, or auditory processing challenges — are simply variations in how the brain processes information. Yet, our education systems and workplaces are often built for one narrow way of learning. When your brain works differently, it can feel like you don’t belong — even though the problem was never you.

How Shame Around Learning Differences Shows Up in Adulthood

Unhealed experiences from childhood can quietly shape how we see ourselves later in life. Adults with learning differences often describe feeling:

• Afraid to make mistakes or ask for help
• Anxious in academic or professional settings
• Perfectionistic, overworking to prove competence
• Self-critical when struggling with organization or focus
• Disconnected from their natural strengths

This kind of shame can limit confidence, self-expression, and even relationships. It often leads to masking — hiding the parts of yourself that don’t fit expectations, even when that masking becomes exhausting.

Recognizing That Shame Isn’t Yours to Carry

The truth is, the shame many neurodivergent adults feel isn’t a reflection of personal failure — it’s a response to ableism and misunderstanding in the environments where they grew up.

For years, learning differences were framed as deficits rather than differences. Many people internalized the message that being “different” meant being “less than.”

Unlearning this means gently separating your inherent worth from those old stories. You were never broken — you were navigating a system that wasn’t designed for your brain.

Healing Through Self-Compassion and Therapy

Therapy can be a powerful space to begin unlearning shame and rediscovering your strengths.
A neurodiversity-affirming approach helps you:

• Understand your learning style and sensory needs
• Develop self-compassion and reduce self-criticism
• Explore how internalized stigma has affected your self-image
• Reconnect with your creativity, intuition, and curiosity

Healing doesn’t mean becoming someone else — it means accepting who you already are and creating systems that work for you, not against you.

Reclaiming Your Strengths

Many adults with learning differences are insightful, empathetic, and innovative thinkers. You might notice patterns others miss, find creative solutions, or connect deeply with people’s emotions.

When shame begins to fade, these strengths shine through. Therapy can help you celebrate what your brain does well instead of constantly fighting to fit in.

Finding Support in Ontario

At Krishna Vora Therapy, I offer online psychotherapy across Ontario with a neurodiversity-affirming and culturally sensitive approach. My work supports adults with ADHD, learning disabilities, and other forms of neurodivergence in healing the shame and self-doubt that often follow them from childhood.

🌼 You don’t have to keep proving your worth — you’ve always been enough, exactly as you are.

Ready to take the next step?

If you are in Ontario, book a free 15 minute virtual consultation. You can use the contact page or write to me at krishnavoratherapy@gmail.com.